It sounds ridiculous, but you can tell how I'm feeling by my hair. After my future mother in law passed away in November, the natural progression of grief kicked in and I lost all motivation to do anything... including brushing my hair. The five minutes of energy and concentration it would take for me to run a comb through my wet hair and hit it with a blow dryer was beyond what my body and mind were capable of. . I remember texting my best friend, recognizing that this wasn't a good sign. "I'm feeling really depressed. I don't want to do anything. I can't wash my face or blow dry my hair." I felt like every minute of the day was a race to get back into bed or on the couch, the only places I felt safe. I was cutting corners wherever I could just to get there faster. First world problems, I know, but also a really big indication of how I was performing in the rest of the world. The better you can be with yourself, the better you can be with those around you... and I wasn't being good to myself at all. This stretch of time, from January to the end of March, I've noticed I feel stronger than other months. The holidays are over, there are no birthdays, no death anniversaries, etc. I've slowly regained my energy-- working out more, being more social, and doing my hair! Last night I powered through a session with @carlyfit, showered and danced around to @arianagrande, started building a shelf for my closet, then had dinner with my mom where I cried about my dad's final days. But I wiped the tears, finished that damn shelf, and did. my. hair. #SSFYL
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That Fog Though • A few things I’ve learned about this whole #wid#widow/a> thing: 🔹Not to fret. It’s all in there it’s just hidden down because it’s not essential right now. 🔹It doesn’t make you any less intelligent or capable. 🔹It can linger. Your body and mind have undergone tremendous shock and have had a lot to process and cope with. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time. 🔹If you do feel like it’s making you slip into depression, seek help. 🔹It is there to protect your mind. Let it. Slowly allow yourself to break through. Be gentle & kind with you. . . . Words by #emilycoxhead #widowlife #widow #wid#widowed #widowjourney #ahopefueledlife #widowed #grief #widowcoach #lifecoach #selfcare #griefjourney #widowsupport #widowhood #widowhoodsucks #widowshelpingwidows #whatgrieflookslike #hanginthere #widowsofinstagram #widowbrain
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Mona appreciation post, no. 2. . . It’s been one month since you’ve been gone. One month without your playful barks, one month without the most aggressive tug games I’ve ever seen, one month without you forcefully curling yourself into the nooks and crooks of my body to lay together, one month without your big ears showing me what you’re feeling or your big eyebrow being mischievous. One month without warning guests to prepare for your enthusiastic greetings. One month without 2am potty breaks or being greeted at the front door, one month without your goofy grin, one month without your surprise sneaky farts, one month without you trying to take food off of my plate or eat from the trash can. One month without taking care of each other. I miss you, Mone Bone. . . #monebone #mona #monalouise #doggo #dogsofinstagram #noshesnotthespudmackenziedog #missyou #whatgrieflookslike #muttdog #adoptdontshop #loveher
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When the Sky Shares Your Grief • Some days are just rainy days. Hearts can’t hold it in anymore and tears flow. • Somehow even I too have bought into at times the societal belief that grief is linear and should follow some sort of preset time schedule. If I hadn't then I wouldn't be so surprised with the waves of grief that continue to crash over me. A common misconception with grief is that the first year is the most difficult and then things get better over time. So why almost 6 years out do I still have days that knock me off my feet with tears that seem like they’ll never end? • Grief and what one endures by grieving are not containable or definable to an experience or time frame. While keeping count of the days since a loved one’s death is heart wrenching, arguably so is loosing count of the days because so many have passed. Both are equally challenging and heartbreaking. • How people are affected by their loss and the time frame they experience things in is just as unique as the relationship they had with the person who died. This also must be remembered for children who are grieving. Just like adults, they too experience grief in their own, unique way complete with the “inconvenient” timing of emotions, triggers and all. • So when the heart becomes heavy and tears can no longer be contained, let them flow. Allow yourself to be inconvenienced by the cleansing and lightening that only tears can bring. • The best thing to do when it rains is to let it rain. | Henry Wadsworth Longfellow . . . #gri#griefoss #whatgrieflookslike #griefsucks #griefisnotlinear #childrenandgrief #letthetearsflow #grief #griefjourney #widowjourney #widowed #widowlife #widowsofinstagram #widowcoach #kidsgrievetoo #widowedmom #heartbreak #ahopefueledlife #gothroughit #griefwork
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This guy. I miss this guy. Happy birthday, Char. 35 would’ve looked great on you! #chudmcz #happybirthday #whatgrieflookslike #itsafeelingandwesurviveit
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"Houston, we have a problem..." . . I'm almost out of chai (sad face) . I chose my cup of the day before reading my daily meditation--about ONE SMALL STEP. Coincidence? Fate? Hmmm... . The grief journey is just that, a journey. And every day I try to take one small step toward healing. I don't always succeed. I fall down more than I'd like, but I also fall a lot less than I did a year ago. . This was Kylie's mug. She bought it herself when we went to the Kennedy Space Center when she was 10. She and her brother loved everything about it. They climbed in every piece of space equipment they could. The picture of them in the space suits is one of my favorites. And I will never forget the wonder in their eyes watching Space Shuttle Atlantis lift off. . So my one step today? Finding joy in a memory, and not just the pain. . #griefjourney #childloss #memories #cupoftheday #grievingmom #whatgrieflookslike #continuedbonds #thelegendofkylieb
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Feelings • You know the thing about feelings? They 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒹 to be felt! • Ignoring or attempting to deaden some feelings will lead to an inability to fully realize others. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to cheat myself out of ALL THE GOOD ones!!! • I distinctly remember when I was younger avoiding, denying and ignoring “negative” emotions. This led to years of being unable to also feel the more positive ones fully. Overall there was a deadening of feelings and that didn’t feel good! For me, it was the loss of my first child that jolted my emotions and began the healing. It has been a conscious effort in healing for me to set aside fear and anticipation of the painful, cover myself in grace & truth, and sit in the pain. It has only been when I do this that I realize that the intensity of it doesn’t last as long as I think it will and even in the midst, I am able to experience reprieves of happiness and joy. • I want to encourage you in the midst of grieving to remember this. To give yourself permission to face - and to surround yourself with those who encourage and sit with you in - the yuck. So that as you grieve and face the painful, you can move 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 it rather than get stuck 𝒾𝓃 it. You deserve and need to feel the good moments of reprieve and to be able to smile and breathe in the precious memories fully. That is life-giving in the midst of death and heartache. That is healing. ♡ . . . #painintheloss #gri#griefjourney #wid#widowney #griefsucks #widow #alltheemotions #selflove #selfcare #yourbestlife #ahopefueledlife #hope #grief #griefandloss #widowed #mindbodysoul #feelings #emotions #soulcare #release #takecareofyourself #hflsimplicityseries #hflcoaching101 #movethroughpain #faith #widowshelpingwidows #lifecoach #widowcoach #whatgrieflookslike
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