You know you’re old when…PART TWO You keep track of celebrities your own age to see what you can get away with. For me, that means Madonna, @theellenshow, and Nikki Sixx. RIP Michael Jackson and Prince. Someone younger says “it’s so cute when you use slang” to you. You’re appalled to see that The Exorcist, chock full ‘o the most terrifying and disturbing images ever filmed, is airing on TV in the middle of the DAY. I know the SFX are dated, but, really? Are younger viewers that jaded? You get flack for using the word “album" but that’s actually still a Grammy category so fuck off. Finally: It feels like you’ve seen it-heard it-done it all. Show me something new, I’m begging you. A new plot, a new riff, a new business model. Everything now has its roots in something that’s come before. Related: allow me to rehash a prior post (I know, BOO, #thumbsdown). But I’ve been having continued deep thoughts about “this is the new that” and I’ve piled on. Everyone knows @peteholmes is the new John Ritter. But what about.... @sofiavergara is the new Charo. @thereallancereddick is the new Yul Brenner. @waltongogginsbonafide is the new Bruce Dern. @queenlatifah is the new Pearl Bailey. Jemaine Clement is the new Peter Gallagher. @drdrewpinsky is the new Dr. Joyce Brothers. Jon Hamm is the new Ray Milland. Keri Russell is the new Lee Remick. @muse is the new Queen. Pickleball is the new racketball. Farro is the new polenta platform. Your vote—Who is the next Michael Shannon: @charlietahancharlietahan or Adam Zastrow? I will probably keep at this unless told to stop.