08.02.19 • When do I feel like my most authentic self? Alot of the time it's when I'm alone. I want to see what emotions are brought up by me sharing incredibly vulnerable moments when I am fully being me. Here I was feeling overwhelmed, but began to replace my thoughts with words of gratitude, which made me tear up with joy. Moments like this, I have never recorded or shared, even with close friends and family before. It's even a little uncomfortable for me to see myself from an outside perspective when I'm fully there in the moment with myself. - I am also slowly recognising my performative self in the everyday. Yesterday while walking home I asked myself why I was rushing? So I slowed down and made myself more aware of my feet on the ground and things around me, rather than the end goal of getting home. But when I saw someone approaching I had a urge to speed up. It was like I wanted to perform to this person - perhaps I think that walking slow it a 'bad thing so therefore felt the need to perform when confronted with someone else. I chose to ignore the need to walk fast and this actually made me feel happier with myself for choosing to stay present and aware of my own body how I wanted to use it.