Who programmed more deadlifts for today’s WOD???? Lol. Got my first rip! Taped up and kept it moving... but add 40 more deadlifts to yesterday’s total. #100deadlifts#deadlifteveryday#riphands oh and here’s 240
Some highlights of the past couple weeks. Have some great workouts and KB Sport practices. I finally feel like I'm back in the game. .
It was just a couple weeks ago that my husband ended up taking me to the docs because we both were getting pretty scared about what my depression was going to do. While we were there I barely spoke. Just cried. Even made my doc cry I think...from what I could see through the blur of tears. I was diagnosed with severe depression and wasn't really allowed to leave without saying I'd go on meds. That's pretty tough to admit. And something I didn't want to do. It's been 10 or more years since I've had to be on them. And honesty....I thought I had this beast under control. But like I've said in previous posts...this last year has kicked me hard and I'm not able to come out of it alone.
I have a husband who is unconditionally supportive. Friends ...wierd for me to think that I now have friends who are even through the darkness....this is something I'm still getting my head wrapped around as I haven't had those experiences in the past. .
What really scared me the most is that I couldn't shake the fact that I wanted to hurt myself. I had zero motivation. Which some of you might not see as I'm usually the upbeat coach that is super silly and full of energy. Work was the only thing I had energy for. I could put in on good, but then the rest of my life was falling apart. Most of all I had no desire to move my body or Work out. I was so lost. Even in the past, during my darkest times I always found comfort and life through working out and using my body. But lately it's been hard to even get to the gym. And when I would get there some times I would leave half way through a workout. Make up some excuse. Or not go at all. The one thing I loved doing in life brought me no joy what's so ever. .
That's when I knew I was in trouble. When I knew I needed help. To seek support. It was hard. Nick has been my rock and is getting me through this. My friends are there for me without judgement. .
I've been back at the gym for 2 weeks now. Forcing myself to go and pushing myself so I can find the love again. It's been hard but I think I go this!