Dominique Asgeirsdottir @domiwaffles
397 Posts
397 Posts
0 Following
Ladies pls stop crying over a man with a mental age of 5. He’s not ignoring your text, he’s sounding it out, give him a minute.
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heLLO i would like 2 announce that my rear end will be running for president in 2020, it has a great shot at winning the election considering most politicians are already massive bums AD | @bombshellsportswear #BombshellSportswear
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few people know this, but the tiny pockets on your jeans are for storing your emotions. doesn’t fit in your pockets? too bad, should have thought of that before buying jeans with tiny pockets.
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Things I have in common with bears: 1. a protective layer of fluffy 2. stealing food from people 3. I kill on average 6 people a year
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me stubbornly freezing to death in -8 because I refuse to admit to my mom that she was right and I should have worn a coat (swipe to see her forcing me to wear a coat anyway 😂♥️)
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Standing here waiting for the tide to come in so I can finally befriend a shark 🦈 I shall name him Benjamin and we shall bond over the fact that we are both pescatarians, and I will introduce him to french fries, thus earning his loyalty forever. he will come to live with me at my house in my swimming pool and I shall feed him an exclusive diet of traffic wardens and politicians and cheetos (also spinach because I am a good shark mommy) We’re planning our next beach vacation! Pls give me recommendations for beautiful beaches and/or tips on befriending sharks
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Me in my new @bombshellsportswear (looking around in every direction at the gym, seeing no one for miles. A tumbleweed rolls through): *touches a dumbbell* Guy (crashes through ceiling): hey i was actually still using that AD | So excited to join team #BombshellSportswear 🥰💕
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men shame on you if you're still commenting "😍" on the selfies of the women u like. pls observe, this is what women want to hear: As the gentle groan of the autumn winds played upon my mind a trick I gazed upon your digital image, madam, and softly whispered Damn girl u thicc
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