thefatjewish @thefatjewish
3k Posts
10m Followers
420 Following
It’s not just you. He looks like a lesbian dental hygienist named Sharon hiking on her weekend off.
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I AM GOING TO BE LATE, MOST LIKELY BECAUSE OF WHO I AM AS A PERSON
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I JUST WANT NOBODY TO FUCKING TALK TO ME WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY EVERYONE IS TALKING TO ME, WHY IS THIS SO COMPLICATED? (tw: @zoexrain)
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Top 3 songs to watch drunk white people sing (by sing I mean scream) 1. This 2. Juicy by Biggie 3. Sweet Caroline
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The consequences didn't matter, when you needed a new No Doubt song, YOU FUCKING NEEDED IT
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You thought putting a giant belt in the middle of that dress would work, but NOPE.
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@tpain you are a fucking visionary, you're like Magellan with a big ass chain
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WHAT IS EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET OUTRAGED ABOUT TODAY?
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I went to a gay wedding recently where they walked down the aisle to a harpist playing Sisqo's "Thong Song." It was fucking gorgeous. (tw: @jonlovett)
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I'm walking behind a Dutch family in New York City right now who is moving sooooo slow I want to punch them each in the back of the head individually.
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This game was about as fun as watching Steve Buscemi aggressively floss his teeth after eating a lamb chop.
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WHO WRITES FUCKING FORTUNE COOKIES? THIS SHOULD BE ONE (@unspirational)
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