I GAVE A SHRIEKING BABY IN A STROLLER THE FINGER THE OTHER DAY WHILE IT’S MOM WAS DISTRACTED, FELT SO GOOD (@saplingpress)
NOTHING I ENJOY MORE THAN DRINKING A TON OF CAFFEINE AND FEELING LIKE MY HEART IS GONNA EXPLODE AND I COULD SHIT MY PANTS BUT NOT BE ANY LESS EXHAUSTED (@xooted)
@therock ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS SHIT OR WHAT BRUH BRUH
Justin Timberlake could literally throw a scalding hot cappuccino at Fallon’s face and he would crack up
Imagine Kanye at a New York City Kinko’s printing these up
It’s ironic that as an adult I love all the shit I hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked
Very gangster. Do bloods and crips do that? NOPE.
SWEAR TO GOD IF IT COMES OUT THAT HANKS JACKED OFF ON SOMEONE’S TURTLENECK OR SOME OTHER PERVY SHIT IN HIS TRAILER ON THE SET OF “CATCH ME IF YOU CAN” AFTER POSTING THIS, I’LL BE FURIOUS (@bluerockpr)
Here’s a security cam video of a German Shepard pooping and then an extremely fat man slipping in it, all set to tasteful ambient music. Just wanted to be really thorough about the explanation, because it’s really awesome and you should watch it.
Ever been so broke you eat sleep for dinner? Yes, you have.
She can basically do whatever she wants. She could put out an album of just her coughing and her fans would be like YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS
IF YOU HAVE A DROID YOU DON’T GET THIS JOKE (AND TEXT GREEN, WHICH IS FUCKING GROSS) @lady_capulet