This term has been hands down my happiest, most experimental and creative term in college thus far. I have never felt this motivated to be engaged in my studies and feel like I am once again actively participating in exploring and accepting my identity.
Creation has been the key word of the season.
Not only have I been pushing myself to expand the amount of physical art I create, but I have been pushing to create myself. And I do admit, school lately for me has been a sort of positive reinforcement towards my self care and expression.
This year although indescribably beautiful, has not been all smiles. Many days have felt surreal, like an unfathomable, empty void that somehow, I must make something brighter of. The amount of physical and emotional change I have experienced in the recent 365 is beyond what I could have ever anticipated for my life’s journey.
There have been monumental losses. My sister losing her battle with cancer in October, Nanny Jo and dear friend Leslie passing from health conditions earlier in the year were unforeseen and have proven hard to fathom some days.
I left behind my home state of Oregon, and each pine and fir that have stood with open arms to hug whenever I please.
I was faced with my souls deepest darkest fears to experience while in love.
I experienced friendships crumble.
There were times where the loss I felt manifested my entire being, and I felt utterly powerless.
There have also been times so absolutely beautiful, so soulful, powerful and full of joy that it is difficult to find a word to encompass the emotion.
My cousin found out she was pregnant on my birthday.
I learned how to oil paint, throw ceramics, how to hold faith when you have nothing, forgive and mend broken hearts through conversations and coffee.
I listened to stories of dead heads living on Bourbon street
I was sung to by a homeless woman because I bought her dinner.
I escaped from everything comfortable and great that I ever knew amongst those junipers.
I met the real Memphis.
I didn’t look back.
I didn’t second guess my decision.
I opened my mind to a world bigger than myself.
I am freer than I have ever been.
Got a hankering’ for some SE Portland hangout n chill time after work tomorrow? Join me for happy hour drinks & nosh at the @belmontstation. I will also be sparkling in lieu of @serafaery this week. Yes, different Sarah, same sparkles!