And it’s like you’re always here. Somewhere in the back of my mind. My eyes are always searching for you, but somehow are not ready to meet yours. Somehow my mind asks me to go look for you but as soon as I see you, I feel like running away. Even when I plan to not to think about you, My thoughts find their way to come back to you. I act like your presence doesn’t make a difference but really it’s hard to breath straight when you’re standing next to me. I curse at myself for feeling this way but I hate myself for thinking that I should give up on you. And even though we never talk, my heart screams your name and I share a million conversations with you in my brain. I plan to not to look at you when I walk past you but I find my eyes searching for you everywhere. Even if I know that I can never call you mine, somehow my heart only calls your name. When I go to bed and close my eyes, I imagine that sweet smile on your lips, which makes me smile too. Even if doesn’t matter to you, you mean so much to me. And when I finally think that I’m done with these feelings, I realise it’s all a lie that I’m feeding myself. The feelings keep growing everyday, even without you doing anything about it.
-Isabelle Beckett ❤️